Buying a House With Your Parents in MA or NH? How Do You Keep the Peace With Your Siblings?
The quick answer: Before you make an offer in North Andover MA, Derry NH or anywhere else, decide whether your parent's money is a gift, a loan or an ownership share. Put it in writing, update your parent's estate plan so the math stays fair, and tell every sibling the plan at the same time.
The house wasn't too small. The plan was too vague.
Picture this. Your dad sells the house you grew up in. He puts a big piece of that money toward a home in North Andover MA with an in-law suite, so he can live with you. It feels right for everyone.
Then your sister calls from Derry NH. "So is Dad paying for your house now?"
Nobody's wrong here. She just doesn't have the whole picture yet. If you feel stuck in the middle, you aren't alone.
This is more common than you'd think. 14% of home buyers bought a home for more than one generation last year, according to the National Association of Realtors 2026 Home Buyers and Sellers Generational Trends report (official). The top reasons were caring for aging parents, saving money and adult kids moving back home.
When a parent's money goes into one sibling's home, part of the inheritance moves early. If nobody talks about it, people fill in the blanks themselves.
Most families talk about the house first. The ones who stay close talk money first.
In this guide
Why does buying a home with a parent cause sibling friction?
It's rarely about the house. It's usually one of these:
- Money nobody can see. Siblings don't know how much went in, so they guess.
- An inheritance that feels early. Dad's money is in your walls now, not in his estate.
- Care that isn't equal. You're the one driving to appointments. They're the one who feels left out.
- The "what happens later" question. If Dad passes or needs more care, who owns what?
Local estate attorneys see this all the time. Legacy Care Law Firm, with offices in North Andover MA and Salem NH, wrote in its newsletter: "I've seen siblings go to court over heirlooms." If a quilt can split a family, a $200,000 down payment can too. (Read the newsletter)
Is the parent's money a gift, a loan or an ownership share?
This is the decision that keeps the peace. Here's a worked example.
The setup: a $700,000 home in North Andover MA. Your dad puts in $200,000 from the sale of his house. That's about 29% of the price.
| Gift | Loan | Ownership share | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Who owns the home. | You own 100%. | You own 100%. | Dad owns about 29%. |
| Paperwork. | A signed gift letter for your lender. | A written loan note with a payback plan. | Dad on the deed, plus a co-ownership agreement. |
| What siblings may expect. | That Dad's will evens it out later. | That the money comes back to Dad's estate. | That they could inherit part of your home. |
| Watch for. | Updating the will. | Your lender may not count borrowed money like savings. | Planning what happens to his share. |
The bottom line: none of these is wrong. The one that causes the fight is the one nobody named.
Be careful with deeds. Attorney Joseph M. Lento of Perennial Estate Planning, with offices in Stoneham MA and Manchester NH, writes that when a parent puts a child on the deed, "once their name is on the deed, then that's it." Undoing it takes everyone's agreement. (Read his article)
Do taxes come into play when a parent gives money for a house?
A little, and it's usually paperwork:
- Federal gift tax: a parent who gives more than $19,000 to one person in 2026 files a gift tax return. Tax isn't owed unless they've given away more than $15 million over their lifetime (official IRS figures, reported by Morgan Lewis).
- Massachusetts and New Hampshire: neither state has a gift tax.
- Your parent's own home sale: most people can keep up to $250,000 of profit tax free, or $500,000 for a married couple, on a home they've lived in for 2 of the last 5 years (official, IRS). Ask a CPA to confirm the numbers for your parent.
Tax attorney Katie Dorval of Bowditch & Dewey told the Boston Globe the $19,000 number isn't a limit on what a parent can give. Below that amount, the IRS "won't pay attention to it." (Read the summary)
How do you avoid family fights over a shared home?
- Hold one family meeting before you make an offer. Everyone hears the same plan at the same time.
- Put it in writing. A gift letter, a loan note or a co-ownership agreement, based on what you chose.
- Write down your parent's right to live there. If Dad pays in but isn't on the deed, the agreement should say where he lives, for how long, and what happens if the house sells.
- Update your parent's estate plan. If one sibling got $200,000 early, the will can balance it out for the others.
- Name the care plan. Who drives to appointments, who covers weekends, and whether that counts for anything.
- Plan the exit. What happens if your parent needs more care, moves out, passes away, or you need to sell.
- Bring in one neutral expert. An estate attorney who works for the family, not for one sibling.
What about Medicaid and long-term care?
If there's any chance your parent will need long-term care, talk to an elder law attorney before money changes hands. Medicaid (MassHealth in Massachusetts) looks back at gifts a person made in the five years before they apply for long-term care coverage. A large gift toward your house could affect that.
Here's what attorneys in our area say about it:
- Fletcher Tilton (Massachusetts): a parent's help with a child's down payment inside the five-year window will "typically trigger a MassHealth penalty period." (Read it)
- Attorney Leah A. Kofos, Samuel, Sayward & Baler (Dedham MA): if Medicaid is needed within five years, "the money you gave away could come back to haunt you." (Read it)
- Elder law attorney Cathleen Summers (Acton MA): there are exceptions, including "an adult child caregiver exemption that protects your family home." (Read it)
- Attorney John Polgrean (Nashua NH): the same five-year rule applies in New Hampshire. Giving away the family home within five years of applying can block Medicaid nursing home coverage. (Read it)
What am I seeing in our towns?
I grew up without parents, so nobody weighed in when I bought my first home. Now I sit with families where everybody has an opinion. The ones who do best say the money part out loud, early.
My job is to find the home that works for your parent and for you. Your attorney's job is to make it fair on paper. Together, that's how the whole family walks into closing feeling good.
Send this to someone moving a parent in: The house can hold everyone. The plan is what keeps everyone talking.
This series: Using an inheritance for a down payment and the best homes for living with aging parents in MA and NH.
What homes are for sale in North Andover MA, Derry NH, Salem NH and Manchester NH right now?
Here are the homes for sale right now, live from the MLS. The newest ones show first. Tap any home for photos and details.
Buying with a parent
Want to talk through which homes work for living together?
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About Lisa Sevajian
Lisa Sevajian is a Realtor with the Lisa Sevajian Group at eXp Realty, licensed in Massachusetts and New Hampshire. She has guided almost 2,000 families through buying and selling and has ranked in the top 1.5% of over 1.4 million Realtors nationwide, verified by RealTrends. She serves the Andovers, the Merrimack Valley, Seacoast MA and NH, Southern NH and the North Shore. Buying, she makes sure you don't overpay. Selling, she makes sure you don't say yes to too little. Call Lisa Sevajian at 978-457-3406.
Home, for me, is here
This is home for me. I grew up north of Boston. I raised my two daughters here as a single mom while I built my business. When they were little, they hosted open houses with me.
Home was North Andover MA. I grew up in the library neighborhood on Mifflin Drive, later moved out to the country side of town, and loved every moment of my 40 or so years there. I hiked Weir Hill with my dogs, and a lot of my mornings started at Good Day Cafe.
So when you ask me about a town, you get more than numbers. Ask me about a school, a street or your commute, and you get someone who has lived it. If you're making a move here, you won't make it alone.
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Questions people ask
Can my parents help me buy a house in Massachusetts or New Hampshire?
Yes. Most loan programs let a parent give money toward a down payment with a signed gift letter.
Should my parent be on the deed in Massachusetts if they help pay for the house?
Whether a parent goes on the deed depends on whether the money is a gift, a loan or an ownership share. An estate attorney can explain how each choice affects your parent's estate.
How do I keep it fair for my siblings if my parent helps me buy a home?
Agree on gift, loan or share, put it in writing, and update your parent's will so your siblings are balanced out.
Does my parent pay gift tax in MA or NH for helping with my down payment?
Usually not. A parent who gives more than $19,000 in 2026 files a federal gift tax return, but tax is only owed after $15 million in lifetime gifts. Massachusetts and New Hampshire have no gift tax.
What's a co-ownership agreement?
A co-ownership agreement is a written agreement between people who own a home together. It covers who paid what, who pays the bills, and what happens if someone wants out or passes away.
What happens to my parent's share of the house when they die?
A parent's share of a home usually goes through their estate. That's why the plan should be in their will or trust.
Can I borrow my down payment from my parents?
Ask your lender first. Many loan programs won't count borrowed money the same way as a gift or your own savings.
Does helping me buy a house affect my parent's MassHealth eligibility in Massachusetts?
It can. MassHealth looks back five years at gifts when someone applies for long-term care coverage. Talk to an elder law attorney first.
Does the Medicaid five-year rule apply in New Hampshire?
Yes. New Hampshire Medicaid also looks back five years, so a parent in Salem NH or Derry NH should talk to an elder law attorney before giving money toward a home.
How common is buying a home with your parents?
14% of recent buyers bought a multigenerational home, according to the National Association of Realtors 2026 Generational Trends report.
What if my siblings are upset that our parent moved in with me?
Invite them into the plan. Show them the agreement, the care plan and the estate update so nothing feels hidden.
Do I need an attorney to buy a home with a parent in North Andover MA?
In Massachusetts, an attorney is already part of every closing. For a shared home in North Andover MA or Derry NH, an estate attorney for the agreement and the will is worth it.
Sources
- IRS: Tax inflation adjustments for tax year 2026, including the $15 million estate exemption and $19,000 gift exclusion.
- National Association of Realtors: 2026 Home Buyers and Sellers Generational Trends.
- Morgan Lewis: IRS 2026 gift and estate tax amounts.
- IRS Topic 701: Sale of your home.
- Fletcher Tilton: Understanding the MassHealth five-year look back.
- Samuel, Sayward & Baler: Gifts to adult children and the look-back.
- Legacy Care Law Firm: October 2025 newsletter.
- Bowditch & Dewey: Katie Dorval on down payment gifts.
This is general information, not legal, tax or lending advice. Check with your attorney, lender and CPA before you decide.
I'll guide you home.
Lisa Sevajian